Digitalis Old English folklore said that foxes wore the flowers on their paws to silence movement and stealthily stalk prey. Healing, pain, insincerity, insecurity
[she lets him say his piece. and...she's both unsurprised and a little saddened to hear it, even if she understands why he'd say it. aerith is the kind of person who does try to see the good in people, or at least tries to write things off as "not so bad" save for a few specific individuals. even here, she's made peace (mostly) with the things have happened, because all of the killers have been afflicted and it's not their fault.
it's not in her nature to think most people can't be good to some degree.]
I know. [she says, because she's also not naive. some people are destined to be villains, or puppets playing right into someone else's hands. and yet...] Asa thinks I'm a little delusional for not waiting for something to go wrong, or for people to reveal they were never good all along. But maybe I just think most people have some capacity to be good and matter to people. There will always be people you can't reach no matter what, and people who are so driven on their path they don't care about the destruction they leave behind. But for everyone else...I try to believe anyway. Maybe it really is delusional.
[ For all the misery in his life, Daan is actually not a nihilist about the people in this world. He doesn't think most people are possibly destined to be evil. ]
Oh, delusional is just but a subjective major love. The world could do with bright-eyed fellows like you, it balances out all the grim and dark and fogginess of the it all. Just that among those, there are few who aren't ever destined to come out of all that, and maybe, just maybe, they don't want to, because it's just where they belong. You can only head towards that light at the end of the tunnel if you want it, there's always the option to remain still.
Children of light, those destined to walk under the bright sun. Those people do well in all hardships of life. They have dear humans who they want to return to. Even in the darkest hour, they can feel warmth of their loved ones in their heart and gain extra courage from that.
[she's not sure if this is actually daan, a cursed daan, or if she's unlocked a new level of daan not that it matters. as always, she's listening to him with utmost attention.]
It depends. Are you thinking you don't need to ask which I am? Or that you don't need to ask which you think you are?
Oh, for you. You're practically radiating in that way. Though I suppose you could always tell me I'm wrong -- I certainly don't mind... I say that, but I'm sure a profound sadness would follow if you did.
I wouldn't say you're wrong. [because he's not. aerith knows exactly how she portrays herself, and she's very firm in her beliefs.] ...but being who I am also has meant there weren't many options to meet those people that I love now, before now. I've been watched my whole life, sometimes hated, sometimes ignored, and even held against my will. And even now there are times I've wondered if having those friends will be enough.
But I'm happier with them. And I can only express my gratitude with kindness. Even in the darkest hour, I...guess I want to be the light for anyone who wants to head toward it. Even if that feels pretty silly to say. ["I just want to do everything in my power to help. All of you." it's what her profile says, after all, and she stands by it now even while things are looking pretty abysmal.]
[ This fucking icon is so funny help. Backrooms Aerith... ]
From the brightest chrysalis births the darkest shadow... and vice versa. Can't have one without the other -- two sides of the same coin. You can take all the time you need, of course. You won't be able to fly with an early ecdysis. You're honest with me, a trait I appreciate quite a bit.
[it cracks me up tbh i don't even remember the context.
but well yeah. this makes sense to her, too.]
I'd never dream of being dishonest to someone who listens. [first of all. but to the rest...] I'm as happy as I can be with the way things are. As long as my friends are okay, I can be happy.
[because what's the point if the people she loves are struggling? it means she can't help them to the best of her ability, and it means they're in pain. it's not an option she wants for anyone she meets. but it doesn't mean there aren't still things that sadden her and things she can't change. that's just how things work. all you can do is try to make the most of it.]
[it's 1am and i'm suddenly filled with fear that you're somehow dead tomorrow.
and just like that, there's the daan she's familiar with. the man who has so many words but usually only says a handful of what he's thinking. she likes both though, as it turns out.
but with that, she just smiles a little and shakes her head.]
Nope, not yet! [cheerful as ever, though a little muted and sincere.] I don't mind heavy conversations. And I've never minded the times I've gotten to talk to you. [she's quiet then, looking at him briefly as if she's studying him and also just...appreciating the existence of this human.]
If anything, I'm surprised you're not tired of me yet. [she knows she's a lot of energy and bright-eyed hope for some people, even with the weight of responsibility she carries on her own to help everyone she can.]
Being kind of mean doesn't always matter to some people, Daan. [she's not saying this as a way of going "you're just being nice", it's more "there are still people here who find me irritating and i get that."] But thank you for saying so.
It matters to me, I guess? Not that I care to be nice all the time, just don't see much of a point in it.
[ Being mean is so tiring, man. ]
All well and good then, for the most part. Just thought, after this past weekend, could do with less of more of the same. Not that I expected it to go in a different direction with what just happened.
I get it. [she's mean when she needs to be and there are people she doesn't like, but it's not always worth the effort to her either.]
I wouldn't disagree with that though. Everything's just a little personal all the time, but...we just make the most with what we have. [she's given up thinking there won't be more deaths, so...it's about adjusting with what they can really handle.]
...oh. Kinda random, I guess, but I was thinking about the list you showed me yesterday. Has anyone shown you the information about the cult they're trying to summon...?
Just feels like we're always getting together to talk about pretty serious stuff all the time.
[ Oh, but right. He digs into the bag he's gotten into the habit of carrying around, sifting through a few sheets until he finds the right one. ]
Rondo told me about something he'd discovered this morning. He surmises it'll be fine to spread as long as it's in private spaces. Let's see...
[ He helpfully hands over a piece of paper to her, penned down in his own neat handwriting. ]
"...caution, for the ritual is not without its troubles. The god we seek to bring into our realm might still be a fledgling. A newborn. It needs to be protected and the steps to bring it into the realm completed perfectly, else it just become just as mortal as those who brought it into the world."
Theeeen the next time we get a place that looks fun, let's make a day of it. You, me, and no serious stuff. Just enjoying ourselves.
[they had tried on the beach and then that got serious, too. so she can at least try again. but she perks up a little, hovering closer to look at his sheets before taking this from his hands to read it.]
This is the one, yeah. Yuffie showed it to us not long after I saw you. But...kinda sounds like the cult themselves aren't even sure what they'll end up with if they aren't careful. Maybe that's why the practice summons of those monsters?
[there's a little hum that seems to say that's good enough. she'll just have to keep asking him as the weeks change.]
Some of us did wonder before if this was some sort of last resort for them. But you're right. Even one wrong move could end poorly for them and good for us. We don't even know if a mortal would be able to grant any kind of power at all.
[she looks at him with utmost serious for a moment.]
I cannot lose them. [...] I'm grateful for the time and all of the moments here, even the bad ones. It's experiences, but it's meeting people and knowing their stories and having something to fight for. Even if survival is it, that's a success.
[but she's also thinking about the people they've lost, and trying to think of how to find a way to reach them, too. if that's even possible. maybe death really is the end here, but that's hard for her to conceptualize.]
[ Far be it from Daan to impose thoughts on people whose worlds have an actual afterlife, because he sure as hell doesn't know if his does despite what the various churches propose. ]
Then let's hope you won't come to regret these experiences too much. Reflect back on them without over-bitterness.
[things she remembers he doesn't really want to talk about, and she's okay with that. she respects him enough not to press her beliefs too strongly.]
I can only hope the same for all of us, Daan. [aerith has her own reasons she can't be bitter because this really is more time than she figured she'd get.] But I know things are hard for some people when everything feels directionless.
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...it's okay if you disagree, you know. I won't be offended by that.
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[ He looks at her and there's something about it in his eye -- something present behind it, and yet the look is a bit distant. ]
Oh, it's not so much an outright disagreement love. Just that some people aren't destined to be very good people, or maybe they're nobody at all.
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it's not in her nature to think most people can't be good to some degree.]
I know. [she says, because she's also not naive. some people are destined to be villains, or puppets playing right into someone else's hands. and yet...] Asa thinks I'm a little delusional for not waiting for something to go wrong, or for people to reveal they were never good all along. But maybe I just think most people have some capacity to be good and matter to people. There will always be people you can't reach no matter what, and people who are so driven on their path they don't care about the destruction they leave behind. But for everyone else...I try to believe anyway. Maybe it really is delusional.
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Oh, delusional is just but a subjective major love. The world could do with bright-eyed fellows like you, it balances out all the grim and dark and fogginess of the it all. Just that among those, there are few who aren't ever destined to come out of all that, and maybe, just maybe, they don't want to, because it's just where they belong. You can only head towards that light at the end of the tunnel if you want it, there's always the option to remain still.
Children of light, those destined to walk under the bright sun. Those people do well in all hardships of life. They have dear humans who they want to return to. Even in the darkest hour, they can feel warmth of their loved ones in their heart and gain extra courage from that.
I don't need to ask, do I?
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It depends. Are you thinking you don't need to ask which I am? Or that you don't need to ask which you think you are?
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But I'm happier with them. And I can only express my gratitude with kindness. Even in the darkest hour, I...guess I want to be the light for anyone who wants to head toward it. Even if that feels pretty silly to say. ["I just want to do everything in my power to help. All of you." it's what her profile says, after all, and she stands by it now even while things are looking pretty abysmal.]
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From the brightest chrysalis births the darkest shadow... and vice versa. Can't have one without the other -- two sides of the same coin. You can take all the time you need, of course. You won't be able to fly with an early ecdysis. You're honest with me, a trait I appreciate quite a bit.
Are you happy, where you are?
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but well yeah. this makes sense to her, too.]
I'd never dream of being dishonest to someone who listens. [first of all. but to the rest...] I'm as happy as I can be with the way things are. As long as my friends are okay, I can be happy.
[because what's the point if the people she loves are struggling? it means she can't help them to the best of her ability, and it means they're in pain. it's not an option she wants for anyone she meets. but it doesn't mean there aren't still things that sadden her and things she can't change. that's just how things work. all you can do is try to make the most of it.]
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[ He looks a little tired, suddenly, rubbing at his eye. ]
So much heavy conversation. It really is looking like the norm for us, huh. It's got to get tiring at some point...
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and just like that, there's the daan she's familiar with. the man who has so many words but usually only says a handful of what he's thinking. she likes both though, as it turns out.
but with that, she just smiles a little and shakes her head.]
Nope, not yet! [cheerful as ever, though a little muted and sincere.] I don't mind heavy conversations. And I've never minded the times I've gotten to talk to you. [she's quiet then, looking at him briefly as if she's studying him and also just...appreciating the existence of this human.]
If anything, I'm surprised you're not tired of me yet. [she knows she's a lot of energy and bright-eyed hope for some people, even with the weight of responsibility she carries on her own to help everyone she can.]
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That'd be kind of mean to get tired of someone who's been perfectly pleasant and patient...
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Being kind of mean doesn't always matter to some people, Daan. [she's not saying this as a way of going "you're just being nice", it's more "there are still people here who find me irritating and i get that."] But thank you for saying so.
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[ Being mean is so tiring, man. ]
All well and good then, for the most part. Just thought, after this past weekend, could do with less of more of the same. Not that I expected it to go in a different direction with what just happened.
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I wouldn't disagree with that though. Everything's just a little personal all the time, but...we just make the most with what we have. [she's given up thinking there won't be more deaths, so...it's about adjusting with what they can really handle.]
...oh. Kinda random, I guess, but I was thinking about the list you showed me yesterday. Has anyone shown you the information about the cult they're trying to summon...?
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[ Oh, but right. He digs into the bag he's gotten into the habit of carrying around, sifting through a few sheets until he finds the right one. ]
Rondo told me about something he'd discovered this morning. He surmises it'll be fine to spread as long as it's in private spaces. Let's see...
[ He helpfully hands over a piece of paper to her, penned down in his own neat handwriting. ]
...Whatever you make of that.
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[they had tried on the beach and then that got serious, too. so she can at least try again. but she perks up a little, hovering closer to look at his sheets before taking this from his hands to read it.]
This is the one, yeah. Yuffie showed it to us not long after I saw you. But...kinda sounds like the cult themselves aren't even sure what they'll end up with if they aren't careful. Maybe that's why the practice summons of those monsters?
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[ He sighs though. ]
Yeah, it was kind of obvious by the time they apparently decided any god summoned will do. It's a pretty dumb move.
Perfectly leaves wiggle room though, doesn't it? Just need to find out the steps and do a bit of meddling.
[ He's not saying let's kill a baby but a mortal baby god is going to be definitely easier to deal with than an immortal one. ]
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Some of us did wonder before if this was some sort of last resort for them. But you're right. Even one wrong move could end poorly for them and good for us. We don't even know if a mortal would be able to grant any kind of power at all.
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We'll just have to take what we can get.
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Really taking that last statement to heart, huh.
[ Seriously scraping the bottom of the barrel here. ]
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I cannot lose them. [...] I'm grateful for the time and all of the moments here, even the bad ones. It's experiences, but it's meeting people and knowing their stories and having something to fight for. Even if survival is it, that's a success.
[but she's also thinking about the people they've lost, and trying to think of how to find a way to reach them, too. if that's even possible. maybe death really is the end here, but that's hard for her to conceptualize.]
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Then let's hope you won't come to regret these experiences too much. Reflect back on them without over-bitterness.
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I can only hope the same for all of us, Daan. [aerith has her own reasons she can't be bitter because this really is more time than she figured she'd get.] But I know things are hard for some people when everything feels directionless.
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