Rudbeckia hirta Believed to be from an English poem called Black-Eyed Susan by John Gay. She boarded a ship about to set sail in search of her "sweet William." Justice, encouragement, motivation
[huh i really made this the week you died and we never got to use it. breaks this in.
anyway after saturday's trial, she is absolutely going to go find ichiban. toddling off through the town to sightsee, but also looking for him specifically. wherever he may be, when she comes across him she approaches, arms behind her back and eyes forward albeit still kind of puffy from losing her shit the last thirty-so minutes of the trial.]
...so. Not such a great thing to have in common, but...here we are. [peering at him carefully.] How are you feeling, Ichiban?
[ YEAH A LOT OF THINGS HAPPENED LAST WEEK, SORRY TO SAY,
honestly, ichiban never left the bar. he's a simple man of simple needs... and sometimes, that need is a shitton of alcohol. despite the glass of whiskey on the counter, though, it doesn't look like it's been touched. in fact, he's kind of just... staring into the liquid, as if it'll tell him something—
but he jolts out of it when aerith speaks to him, at least, giving her his full attention. ]
I think I can manage that. [she will come have a seat at the bar though to settle next to him. drink away whenever you want, my man.] ...it's a very confusing and conflicting situation to be in. Like knowing the answer's right there, but you don't have the final piece to make a solid conclusion and solve the puzzle in front of you. I think "not sure" makes sense.
[ it's almost like he just poured himself a drink as a force of habit; he doesn't really feel like drowning his sorrows or getting shitfaced. he does welcome her sitting by his side, though; he'll appreciate it later, once he can figure out his feelings. ]
You know, I really don't know what I'm gonna be like when I see him again. And like I said yesterday, that really freaks me out. [ ... ] I know it's different for you, since he was possessed when he got you, but...
[ ...he trails off. god. his brain is such a mess right now. ]
Just because it's different for me doesn't mean I don't understand how complicated this must be for you. [she's well aware she's an outlier who has completely forgiven lucas for what he's done.] And I would never ask you to know how to feel right away, or even forgive him if you're not ready. Or even ever, if that's what you felt.
[but...]
...the only way to really know, I think, is to talk when you're ready. He's going to feel awful for what he's done, and even if he was possessed when he got me, there are things about Lucas that might make it hard for him to come to terms with what really happened to you. The important thing is you don't force yourself. It looks like this town's big enough for everyone to spread out and miss each other if we wanted to.
[ there's a moment where ichiban tries to find the words to respond to aerith, because normally, he is an understanding soul who is filled with love and forgiveness no matter the cost—
[the sense she's getting from both ichiban and tomi is that things are really rough where they're from because of a cult and sometimes you beat people up for answers. so yeah, she looks a little perturbed by this memory, but when it finally fades she...pauses for a moment, assessing ichiban for his own feelings on it.
even so, she chooses to ask an easy, light question first.]
...what information were you trying to get from Masato?
[she was likely out wandering around before she Noticed a large figure just looming in the graveyard, so she turns around to go elsewhere before looping back. this is how she approaches ichiban at the cemetery, slow steps and two jamba juices in her arms along with what looks like a pretzel. one of the savory cheese kind.
she's. not entirely surprised he's here, given the news of who would be joining them soon, but she's also not going to dissuade him from waiting.]
Here. No sense waiting on an empty stomach, right? [offers a large smoothie (probably something tropical with pineapples and oranges) and the pretzel.]
it's almost like ichiban is a gargoyle as he sits among the graves in the cemetery, diligently keeping watch. there's a lot going through his mind right now, but... if the announcement from earlier was true, then, tomizawa (and marina, but, yknow,) will be waking up in one of these empty coffins, wondering what the fuck just happened, just as ichiban himself had two weeks ago.
(man, has it really only been two weeks since his death...? what the fuck.)
there's a moment where he doesn't seem to have noticed aerith at first, with the way he doesn't even turn to acknowledge her... but the facade drops as he winces and rubs his neck with his remaining arm. ]
Ow, my neck must've locked up from sittin' here too long... [ he rolls his shoulders a couple of times before giving her a weak smile, holding out his hand. he's got big yaoi hands, he can hold both in one. ] Thanks. How'd you know I'd be here?
[ it's not a very hard conclusion to come to, but hey, he's curious. ]
sir. your neck. she doesn't seem to mind that he's completely focused and not paying attention to her, but she does offer a tiny smile when he finally tunes in. here is your sustenance, good thing for your yaoi hands.]
That can happen when you're so focused. [but she moves to settle nearby with her own drink.] Let's say...lucky guess? I caught a glimpse of what the others found this morning. And...waking up alone here would be disorienting for anybody.
[so yeah. she assumed he'd be waiting so tomi wouldn't be bumbling around lost and by himself.]
[ it's actually a blessing that she came prepared, because he only realizes he can't remember the last time he ate until he sinks his teeth into the pretzel. it's gone in a flash, and though he almost makes a comment about wanting more... well, there are other, more important matters at hand right now. such as... ]
. . . Y'know, how fucked up is it that I'm... kind of happy about this? [ he lets out a shaky laugh, incredulous. ] What kind of monster do you have to be to be happy that your friend was found dead this morning? Haha...
[ ...as he waits for aerith's answer, he takes a sip of the smoothie, and almost chokes. the second the taste of pineapple registers to him, he chokes out a sob, because... well... of course it reminds him of tomi, of hawaii, of a different lifetime altogether. ]
[well, she truly does not get to address the first part because of course she notices the sob, and of course that raises alarm.]
—I'm sorry! I'm so sorry, I thought maybe it would be something you liked because it was familiar, but I didn't think about the familiarity being a problem. I can...we can trade? The other one's berries so it's less...that.
[AHHHHH HOW DID SHE MAKE THIS WORSE JUST BY TRYING AHHHHHHHHHH]
[ give him a couple of seconds to just... process his feelings... once the shock does finally wear off, he laughs again, though this time it's a little wet. oops. ]
N-no, it'sâ it's okay, really! I get where you were coming from, 'cause hell, I'd do the same thing, including the apologizing for being accidentally making things worse.
[ he sets the drink down for a moment to wipe at his eyes with the back of his hand, then smiles back at her. ]
Seriously, Aerith, I appreciate it. Thank you. It's a really sweet gesture. [ beat ] And not just because it's a smoothie.
[she still looks extremely apologetic about this, but calmer, a little, when he laughs and settles again. there's a sympathetic little smile of her own because she kind of gets it. it's a lot of overwhelming feelings all at once, and not everyone can process them so quickly.]
But being a smoothie probably helps. [a little joke.] It's the least I could do. I...walked past earlier when I checked here, but you were so focused on waiting I kinda figured you'd be here for a while. [so. little treat for ichiban. but she mulls over his original statement then.]
...maybe it is a little messed up to feel happy that this happened to him, but at the same time I think I get where you're coming from. It's been hard on both of you. When I last spoke with him, he...was kind of doing a little better, but more in the "held together with cheap glue" sense than the "will scatter with the wind" sense.
[ believe it or not, ichiban may genuinely be my most emotionally competent character. ]
...Yeah, I believe it. It's weird to say, since it kind of makes me feel like an egocentric asshole, but... I always knew I meant a lot to him. But I never knew just how much that was... until I was gone.
[ another short laugh after he takes another sip of smoothie. ]
Can't believe I'd be thinkin' about my mortality after I was dead.
I kinda got that impression given some of the things you two have been through. He told me about what you're doing back home and what you're trying to stop. Doesn't seem like the sort of thing you'd involve yourself with if you weren't invested in helping some people out. [so. egocentric, sure, but she can understand why.]
I think that's the thing about life though. When you're alive, you rarely think about what could kill you or when it might be your time to go. But after it happens...you kind of think "what could I have done differently alive" or "if I had just tried this, would I still be there?" Or you think about the things you left behind and the things you didn't get to do. It can get kind of crazy to think too much about it.
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w2 saturday
anyway after saturday's trial, she is absolutely going to go find ichiban. toddling off through the town to sightsee, but also looking for him specifically. wherever he may be, when she comes across him she approaches, arms behind her back and eyes forward albeit still kind of puffy from losing her shit the last thirty-so minutes of the trial.]
...so. Not such a great thing to have in common, but...here we are. [peering at him carefully.] How are you feeling, Ichiban?
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honestly, ichiban never left the bar. he's a simple man of simple needs... and sometimes, that need is a shitton of alcohol. despite the glass of whiskey on the counter, though, it doesn't look like it's been touched. in fact, he's kind of just... staring into the liquid, as if it'll tell him something—
but he jolts out of it when aerith speaks to him, at least, giving her his full attention. ]
...Not sure, heh. Try askin' me tomorrow, maybe?
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You know, I really don't know what I'm gonna be like when I see him again. And like I said yesterday, that really freaks me out. [ ... ] I know it's different for you, since he was possessed when he got you, but...
[ ...he trails off. god. his brain is such a mess right now. ]
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[but...]
...the only way to really know, I think, is to talk when you're ready. He's going to feel awful for what he's done, and even if he was possessed when he got me, there are things about Lucas that might make it hard for him to come to terms with what really happened to you. The important thing is you don't force yourself. It looks like this town's big enough for everyone to spread out and miss each other if we wanted to.
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but then the shadows close in all of a sudden, and bring the both of them into a memory of the last time ichiban remembers ever being this conflicted, this upset, this angry. ]
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even so, she chooses to ask an easy, light question first.]
...what information were you trying to get from Masato?
w3 friday
she's. not entirely surprised he's here, given the news of who would be joining them soon, but she's also not going to dissuade him from waiting.]
Here. No sense waiting on an empty stomach, right? [offers a large smoothie (probably something tropical with pineapples and oranges) and the pretzel.]
no subject
it's almost like ichiban is a gargoyle as he sits among the graves in the cemetery, diligently keeping watch. there's a lot going through his mind right now, but... if the announcement from earlier was true, then, tomizawa (and marina, but, yknow,) will be waking up in one of these empty coffins, wondering what the fuck just happened, just as ichiban himself had two weeks ago.
(man, has it really only been two weeks since his death...? what the fuck.)
there's a moment where he doesn't seem to have noticed aerith at first, with the way he doesn't even turn to acknowledge her... but the facade drops as he winces and rubs his neck with his remaining arm. ]
Ow, my neck must've locked up from sittin' here too long... [ he rolls his shoulders a couple of times before giving her a weak smile, holding out his hand. he's got big yaoi hands, he can hold both in one. ] Thanks. How'd you know I'd be here?
[ it's not a very hard conclusion to come to, but hey, he's curious. ]
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sir. your neck. she doesn't seem to mind that he's completely focused and not paying attention to her, but she does offer a tiny smile when he finally tunes in. here is your sustenance, good thing for your yaoi hands.]
That can happen when you're so focused. [but she moves to settle nearby with her own drink.] Let's say...lucky guess? I caught a glimpse of what the others found this morning. And...waking up alone here would be disorienting for anybody.
[so yeah. she assumed he'd be waiting so tomi wouldn't be bumbling around lost and by himself.]
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. . . Y'know, how fucked up is it that I'm... kind of happy about this? [ he lets out a shaky laugh, incredulous. ] What kind of monster do you have to be to be happy that your friend was found dead this morning? Haha...
[ ...as he waits for aerith's answer, he takes a sip of the smoothie, and almost chokes. the second the taste of pineapple registers to him, he chokes out a sob, because... well... of course it reminds him of tomi, of hawaii, of a different lifetime altogether. ]
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—I'm sorry! I'm so sorry, I thought maybe it would be something you liked because it was familiar, but I didn't think about the familiarity being a problem. I can...we can trade? The other one's berries so it's less...that.
[AHHHHH HOW DID SHE MAKE THIS WORSE JUST BY TRYING AHHHHHHHHHH]
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N-no, it'sâ it's okay, really! I get where you were coming from, 'cause hell, I'd do the same thing, including the apologizing for being accidentally making things worse.
[ he sets the drink down for a moment to wipe at his eyes with the back of his hand, then smiles back at her. ]
Seriously, Aerith, I appreciate it. Thank you. It's a really sweet gesture. [ beat ] And not just because it's a smoothie.
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But being a smoothie probably helps. [a little joke.] It's the least I could do. I...walked past earlier when I checked here, but you were so focused on waiting I kinda figured you'd be here for a while. [so. little treat for ichiban. but she mulls over his original statement then.]
...maybe it is a little messed up to feel happy that this happened to him, but at the same time I think I get where you're coming from. It's been hard on both of you. When I last spoke with him, he...was kind of doing a little better, but more in the "held together with cheap glue" sense than the "will scatter with the wind" sense.
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...Yeah, I believe it. It's weird to say, since it kind of makes me feel like an egocentric asshole, but... I always knew I meant a lot to him. But I never knew just how much that was... until I was gone.
[ another short laugh after he takes another sip of smoothie. ]
Can't believe I'd be thinkin' about my mortality after I was dead.
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I think that's the thing about life though. When you're alive, you rarely think about what could kill you or when it might be your time to go. But after it happens...you kind of think "what could I have done differently alive" or "if I had just tried this, would I still be there?" Or you think about the things you left behind and the things you didn't get to do. It can get kind of crazy to think too much about it.