Cloud

[residentflorist]

code

Lilium
Derived from Latin lilia, which may have come from a corrupted
pronunciation of a word from an extinct Eastern Mediterranean language
Humility, devotion, restored innocence after death

"Lovers used to give these when they were reunited."

Comments

[residentmerc]

[ unfortunately, it's everything week, so even if he deliberately does not say it, the because you knew I'd fail? comes through anyway. ]

It shouldn't have had to be on you to tell me something the others knew already.

[ yuffie tried, he thinks, maybe. she was saying something about aerith. maybe it doesn't matter. maybe if cloud hadn't been beaten over the head with it over and over again he would've never been able to... see it. he doesn't even know. ]

[residentflorist]

[she just frowns to that.]

Hey. [hey? no?] That's not true.

[she's going to ignore the other half because cloud is thinking a thing that she does not want him lingering on.]

[residentmerc]

Isn't it?

[ HE DOES NOT KNOW HIS THOUGHTS ARE LEAKING ]

[residentflorist]

It has nothing to do with if you would fail, Cloud.

[outright addressing it AHHHH.]

[residentmerc]

[ well. he hates thoughtshare. but. ]

Then why?

[residentflorist]

I told you not to blame yourself for the same reason I wondered if you would come and save me before the first time. Because you take on the responsibility yourself, even for the things that were never your fault to begin with.

[residentmerc]

I was there and I couldn't save you.

[ he tried and maybe sephiroth cheated but ALSO ]

[residentflorist]

Cloud...[this is why she didn't want to tell him!] I don't understand how, but Sephiroth...

[hm. how do you say "sephiroth is fucking around, and also i think we broke our timeline, and i think i'm between both"? maybe just blaming sephiroth is good enough.]

[residentmerc]

[ this is not why she didn't want to tell him, but she says sephiroth's name and cloud just sighs because. yeah. yeah he fucking knows. ]

... It doesn't matter. He's not getting another shot.

[ a. fourth? shot? i dont know how to count the many times shes died here. ]

[residentflorist]

[listen. she can have multiple reasons not to tell him, they are all technically sephiroth's fault. but there's a slow nod as she continues holding onto him and trying to pour a bunch of affection into him.]

...are you mad? [that she didn't tell him sooner.]

[residentmerc]

[ at himself? sure. at her? no. he figures it's the same reason tifa didn't tell him about zack. because there's something wrong with him!!

his thoughts don't betray him this time even if his emotions do. stinky self-loathing. ]

No.

[residentflorist]

[she pulls back just a little to look up at him and try to read his expression. the vibe is absolutely there, and she hates that.]

...wanna try again?

[residentmerc]

[ frowning as he looks at her ]

... I'm not mad at you. [ trying to put all his sincerity into it like that is the issue now ]

[residentflorist]

...then? [there is...unfortunately relief that he says he's not mad at her, but also a twinge of sympathy because oh boy. she can guess, but she will ask.]

[residentmerc]

... There's no then.

[ he has decided to stew in his self-hatred sorry ]

[residentflorist]

[...she just goes quiet and continues holding onto him because if he's going to stew she's going to force him to have to pay attention to her again and talk to her eventually.]

[residentmerc]

[ well he can hold onto her and pay attention without ever having to talk about his self-loathing actually thanks!! he is soooo good at not talking ]

[residentflorist]

[cuddling...]

...why won't you talk to me? [which is fucking rich coming from her, but she means "how can i help" and "let me in" and those similar sentiments.]

[residentmerc]

[ it is SO rich coming from her thank you, but cloud just shakes his head and holds her ]

... There's nothing to talk about. We'll figure a way to bring you back.

[ he says we even though hes like pretty sure hes worthless there too!!!! yay. ]

[residentflorist]

It's not just about that, Cloud. [like it is in the sense of she needs to find a way home, but. okay. maybe now she can tell him her other worries.] ...I think something happened back in Midgar. When we broke away from destiny. And it means I'm not there, but I also am. Sephiroth's sword...[she can't quite say "sephiroth killed me" but that's the implication.] You also stopped it.

It's like...being in two places at once. But I can't understand how.

[residentmerc]

...

[ sorry unfortunately this explanation makes him have a sephiroth moment as he repeats, slowly; ]

When the boundaries of fate are breached, new worlds are born. [ he's at least not fully zoned out quoting, he's thinking. ] Maybe... It's not just like being in two places at once. Maybe you actually are. And I'm...

[ seeing both? frowning deeply ]

[residentflorist]

[oh jesus she doesn't like that. she's busy setting a hand on his face to get him to focus. hey. come back. be less sephiroth'd.]

...Red could feel that I was still there. [there's a ping of sadness, and guilt, because that's their dog and he was sad and calling for her and she couldn't do anything.] But nobody else...and you could see everything.

I thought maybe it was something different, but...you told me about Zack. [...] ...something's happening, somehow.

[residentmerc]

[ he blinks a few times and his gaze goes less vacant as he unsephiroths. the red thing makes him frown and there's a ping of worry. and another ping of guilt worry at zack because where did he fuCKIN GO ]

... The sky was wrong. I don't think... the others could see it. But it looked like it was breaking.

[residentflorist]

Yeah. [yeah, because she saw it, too, and she's never been sure what to think of what it means.] If the sky's breaking, then...I'm not sure what that means for us. Other than it means things might not have always gone the way we think they did.

[there is a timeline she lived, maybe, but the one they're currently in is the one where she's in between.]

[residentmerc]

... I don't know what it means exactly, or even what he wants. [ he almost reflexively mouths reunion but manages to shake it off, looking a little lost ] But we'll find a way to fix things.