Sefural different trials. Solo ones, at furst, then Nyasa-dono and I went furward together.
[ ...frowns. ]
Much of the furst trial is foggy to me. I remember... Yoshitsuneko, and being handed the oppurrtunity to change history so he could live, just in a dream. All I can reclawll is refusing to take it.
[it takes her a few moments to really sort through what the hell he's trying to say, but it makes sense. she doesn't like hearing it, but what he's saying makes sense.]
These things always feel like it's all about the choices we make. What happened after you refused? Did you get to see him at all?
Mm. He was behind me on the bridge, so I did see him commit ritual suicide, just as he did in history. Although... I didn't recognize the sword he did it with, which felt a bit strange.
Not immediately. I had to wait for the others to come out from their trials, we had to light a torch to heal our injuries, and then split into pairs for the remaining trials.
I'm not sure what the others went through, on theirs. Ours required us to sacrifice things on each floor. [ frowns down at a blackened hand, flexing it. ] I still can't feel anything, after that first floor. The second... I'm not sure what I gave up. I only know it was something to do with memories.
Makes sense. Some trials you can only face alone. [sounds similar to the trials at the temple of the ancients, but she doesn't say that. she's just registering it, listening to iwatooshi explain.]
...but what did you gain by giving that sacrifice? Was it just for the right of passage?
Not with us, nya. [ pauses, considers something. ] Not for most of it. We were told that we were meant to fix his meowmories, and a lot of what we saw are things I reclawgnized from him.
He might've been totally unaware even if it seemed like he should have known or like you were dealing with him directly. When I spoke with Mathis, he had no idea when Anisphia first told him about what happened to us. It's strange...it's so accurate, but the people these are tied to are left oblivious.
That's possible, too. [ shakes his head. ] Admittedly, I'm not sure how these things work, exactly. I knew it could borrow from our experiences, but... I'm familiar with history being changed, not memories.
It's like it draws the memories out of them and manipulates it, just as it draws out who we care most for to use them against us.
What is history if not a collection of people's memories though, you know? [...] Sorry if that's an offensive thing to say. But you get it, right? It's...history is history because you hear about the accounts of what other people remember and have witnessed themselves. I can't say I get how any of this works either, but you're right. It draws the memories out, rearranges them, and puts them back into us to make them our own history instead.
Like we're now dealing with two timelines. Our own memories and history, and the history where we were involved with someone else.
It isn't offensive. In a way, you're right about that, although... sometimes history, as it's written, is what those recording it want to be remembered. Nothing more, nothing less.
[ history is written by the victors, etc etc.
comparing it to two timelines seems to resonate with him, though. not necessarily in a good way, but it's something iwatooshi can understand. ]
As if history has branched again... [ he nods slowly. ] Yes, it is a bit like that. But those timelines are always cut off, eventually, and here, they stick with us.
Falsified accounts. Yeah, I'm familiar with that. People who want to control the narrative so other people don't question it later. [like shinra...]
But exactly like that, yeah. Like you're going far enough, but suddenly you then have to figure out how it connects. [...] It's hard when there isn't really a guide for how to do this. And maybe there isn't even a right answer at all.
Yes. It's all too common in history... so memories aren't always accurate to that.
I don't think there is. Our memories are so personal, so having them stolen and manipulated like this... I don't know what we could do about it, but try to pick up the pieces. Maybe they don't connect, and maybe they don't need to, but they are ours, real or not real.
They're ours. Even the ones that may go missing, or the ones we don't understand, they're real and they shape who we are. But that doesn't mean they should control us either, right? Everything we remember and everything we know...it's just another piece to help us decide how we want to act, and what we want to do while we're here.
So I think...even if it's not as okay right now, it will be. The pieces might look different, but I don't think they're broken either.
[ he's quiet for a moment, considering her words. ]
...I still don't know what I've lost. I don't know if I'll get it back... Signa - she said we wouldn't.
[ and he seems to believe that, which is. troubling him greatly. ]
But I believe you. That it will be okay, somehow. Even if it's gone forever, then it's like Asa-dono said - we just have to make new memories, instead.
...I've lost several of mine, too. A lot of very precious memories that I once had, and I can't remember them now. But the feelings are still there. I may not always understand, but I know that to be true. And I think the same will be for you.
It'll be okay. [there's a smile.] And Asa's right. That's actually pretty good advice.
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[ ...frowns. ]
Much of the furst trial is foggy to me. I remember... Yoshitsuneko, and being handed the oppurrtunity to change history so he could live, just in a dream. All I can reclawll is refusing to take it.
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These things always feel like it's all about the choices we make. What happened after you refused? Did you get to see him at all?
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[ shaking his head. ]
Regardless, it ended there.
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That trial ended there. Did the next start right away?
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I'm not sure what the others went through, on theirs. Ours required us to sacrifice things on each floor. [ frowns down at a blackened hand, flexing it. ] I still can't feel anything, after that first floor. The second... I'm not sure what I gave up. I only know it was something to do with memories.
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...but what did you gain by giving that sacrifice? Was it just for the right of passage?
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[ ... ]
At least, we thought so. We meowght have been wrong, but there's no way to know now.
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...was Rondo with you guys? [she recalls seeing a few people when she was gone, so she's wondering.]
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When I spoke to him earlier, nothing seemed to be wrong.
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It's like it draws the memories out of them and manipulates it, just as it draws out who we care most for to use them against us.
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Like we're now dealing with two timelines. Our own memories and history, and the history where we were involved with someone else.
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[ history is written by the victors, etc etc.
comparing it to two timelines seems to resonate with him, though. not necessarily in a good way, but it's something iwatooshi can understand. ]
As if history has branched again... [ he nods slowly. ] Yes, it is a bit like that. But those timelines are always cut off, eventually, and here, they stick with us.
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But exactly like that, yeah. Like you're going far enough, but suddenly you then have to figure out how it connects. [...] It's hard when there isn't really a guide for how to do this. And maybe there isn't even a right answer at all.
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I don't think there is. Our memories are so personal, so having them stolen and manipulated like this... I don't know what we could do about it, but try to pick up the pieces. Maybe they don't connect, and maybe they don't need to, but they are ours, real or not real.
[ he has to believe that. ]
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So I think...even if it's not as okay right now, it will be. The pieces might look different, but I don't think they're broken either.
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...I still don't know what I've lost. I don't know if I'll get it back... Signa - she said we wouldn't.
[ and he seems to believe that, which is. troubling him greatly. ]
But I believe you. That it will be okay, somehow. Even if it's gone forever, then it's like Asa-dono said - we just have to make new memories, instead.
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...I've lost several of mine, too. A lot of very precious memories that I once had, and I can't remember them now. But the feelings are still there. I may not always understand, but I know that to be true. And I think the same will be for you.
It'll be okay. [there's a smile.] And Asa's right. That's actually pretty good advice.