Rudbeckia hirta Believed to be from an English poem called Black-Eyed Susan by John Gay. She boarded a ship about to set sail in search of her "sweet William." Justice, encouragement, motivation
[she still looks extremely apologetic about this, but calmer, a little, when he laughs and settles again. there's a sympathetic little smile of her own because she kind of gets it. it's a lot of overwhelming feelings all at once, and not everyone can process them so quickly.]
But being a smoothie probably helps. [a little joke.] It's the least I could do. I...walked past earlier when I checked here, but you were so focused on waiting I kinda figured you'd be here for a while. [so. little treat for ichiban. but she mulls over his original statement then.]
...maybe it is a little messed up to feel happy that this happened to him, but at the same time I think I get where you're coming from. It's been hard on both of you. When I last spoke with him, he...was kind of doing a little better, but more in the "held together with cheap glue" sense than the "will scatter with the wind" sense.
[ believe it or not, ichiban may genuinely be my most emotionally competent character. ]
...Yeah, I believe it. It's weird to say, since it kind of makes me feel like an egocentric asshole, but... I always knew I meant a lot to him. But I never knew just how much that was... until I was gone.
[ another short laugh after he takes another sip of smoothie. ]
Can't believe I'd be thinkin' about my mortality after I was dead.
I kinda got that impression given some of the things you two have been through. He told me about what you're doing back home and what you're trying to stop. Doesn't seem like the sort of thing you'd involve yourself with if you weren't invested in helping some people out. [so. egocentric, sure, but she can understand why.]
I think that's the thing about life though. When you're alive, you rarely think about what could kill you or when it might be your time to go. But after it happens...you kind of think "what could I have done differently alive" or "if I had just tried this, would I still be there?" Or you think about the things you left behind and the things you didn't get to do. It can get kind of crazy to think too much about it.
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But being a smoothie probably helps. [a little joke.] It's the least I could do. I...walked past earlier when I checked here, but you were so focused on waiting I kinda figured you'd be here for a while. [so. little treat for ichiban. but she mulls over his original statement then.]
...maybe it is a little messed up to feel happy that this happened to him, but at the same time I think I get where you're coming from. It's been hard on both of you. When I last spoke with him, he...was kind of doing a little better, but more in the "held together with cheap glue" sense than the "will scatter with the wind" sense.
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...Yeah, I believe it. It's weird to say, since it kind of makes me feel like an egocentric asshole, but... I always knew I meant a lot to him. But I never knew just how much that was... until I was gone.
[ another short laugh after he takes another sip of smoothie. ]
Can't believe I'd be thinkin' about my mortality after I was dead.
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I think that's the thing about life though. When you're alive, you rarely think about what could kill you or when it might be your time to go. But after it happens...you kind of think "what could I have done differently alive" or "if I had just tried this, would I still be there?" Or you think about the things you left behind and the things you didn't get to do. It can get kind of crazy to think too much about it.