residentflorist

And yet we still don't know who that hand belonged to. But if what the others said is true, it was probably just a decoy to throw off the cult themselves. [it is rude to remind her, but it's fine. she's also currently in a place where she's trying to decide if being dead is better except it's really not. then again, it's just another thing she has to remind herself that she's not alone in. cloud's with her. that's enough for now.] I know you're right though. But I'm worried he'll still kind of blame himself anyway, even knowing it was probably too late.

[but yeah. what now...she looks at cloud for a moment, glancing at the towel around his shoulders and tilting her head a little in thought.]

...dunno. What do you want to do now that we're here? [it's occurring to her that since they've met, they haven't really had that much downtime to just hang out. they were always traveling, or in the middle of a job, or at a tourist-y location that kept them busy.]

I've been trying to forget about that hand. [ he chose to carry it around because it was better than aerith, but he was still stuck with a fucking hand? horrible? let's never think about it again. ] Maybe. Might be better if he talks to Lucas himself and find out what happened.

[ [lucas voice] nothing i hate you aki. cloud doesn't know this yet so all he does is stare back when aerith looks at him and then blink a little owlishly at the question.

"what do you want to do" isn't that big of a question, but he's bad at not having... goals. jobs. something. they already looked around yesterday, a bit, so now... now... what do they do? ]

Didn't exactly have any plans before... all this. [ and now after that he's a little tired, already, of everyone. well. not aerith, but that's different. there is probably stuff to do if he thinks about it. he does not really feel like doing it after the fire. ] We...

[ ah, give him a goal and he's fast to figure out what to do and go for it, but this kind of just living thing. he's not so good at. but also it's alpha week so after a second he just shakes his head and admits, ALPHALY: ]

I don't care so long as I don't have to deal with anyone else today. You're the only person I want to be around right now.

[ALPHALY...but yeah. she's not entirely up for doing anything else either, but she knows cloud needs direction sometimes. so she's giving him an equally owlish look back when he actually admits that he wants to be around her, like she has a reason to be surprised.

so. she pats the spot on the bed next to her. come sit.]

Door's locked so it's not like anybody can come in anyway. But...we don't have to deal with them anyway. We can just talk. [maybe that's not an option he wants either, but it's what she's offering. and it's kind of what she wants anyway.]

[ ... it's alpha week he can do this he can actually sit on the bed next to her without hesitating!!! he even lets it be close enough their knees are touching!!! fucking incredible. he still feels a little awkward because she looked so surprised though. idiot. ]

Sure. [ he's not under any impression he is good at talking, everyone knows this, but he's not against it. ] Was there... something you wanted to talk about?

[ he's fine if there isn't, but. he is also very aware she is holding back a lot. ]

[their knees are touching and she doesn't seem to mind this part, relaxed and body language more open as they settle in.]

Oh, I don't know. [which is true, but it's also true there is a lot she has not talked about and a lot she's holding back on.] We haven't really had a lot of time to ourselves in...a while, have we?

[like. maybe literally when they first met.]

[ hmmm. he supposes the gold saucer doesn't really count, since everyone else was also there, just doing their own thing. same with everything since they've set out. he looks down at his lap as he frowns in thought.

he doesn't know if that date was real. in--she called it her dream. but he's not sure aerith knows it. and it wasn't... it probably doesn't count either. ]

... Depends on how you count by ourselves. [ he settles on that first, but: ] Might've been back when I first fell in your flowers, if you mean without anyone else nearby.

[it's all debatable...]

That sounds about right, I think. At least for a time before things were a little more complicated. [between everything happening, she means.] And then I took you home with me, and you tried sneaking out.

That's...

[ a little flustered but he is not about to out that elmyra basically told him to get the fuck away from her daughter asap. ]

Yeah, and you caught me. Does it matter?

[that's probably a good idea but also aerith likely would not be surprised. so she shrugs.]

Not really. Just as long as you don't think you'll ever get away from me that easily. [a light joke, and maybe, uh, a little morbid now considering they quite literally followed each other into death.]

I'm not trying to get away from you. [ honest when she's joking, but... he frowns a little. is this about her trying to find him again? ]

[hm. softly knocks her knee into his.]

I know you're not. [anymore. it is a little about that, but not the full picture.] Don't worry about that.

[ looking at her knee. hm. he thinks about bringing it up... but... ]

Think you're the one who's worried. [ it falls flat as a tease, and he grimaces a bit as he realizes it after it comes out ]

[she should not give him more to stress about. and yet...she is trying a new thing where she actually...talks about...stuff she wants. not just the silly superficial things, but the more serious ones with longevity she's not even sure she'll get. it's like 1/3 trying to be more selfish for herself, 1/3 aerith's actual personality and 1/3 alpha week that means saying the important things.]

...a little, yeah. I don't want to lose you while I have you.

You're not gonna lose me.

[ it's an easy thing to say. and he even sort of believes it, despite the fact that they both died, despite the fact that he's not completely sure when the degradation will take him-- he at least believes in it enough to say it with certainty when he's replying to aerith. ]

I almost just did. [she's mostly talking about if they hadn't both died this last weekend, they really would have been separated. but also even back home...outside of the temple, back when sephiroth appeared...he'd snapped out of it. but how long will that work?

even saturday when he saw her body on the tv screen she could tell something was affecting his brain. what might be the point of no return this time?]

[ he can't disagree with that. and it'd be easy to turn it back on her, for this weekend. back in the forgotten city. (it was not almost, oops.)

but. ]

...We're both here now, aren't we?

[ it's a little empty. he knows he isn't fine, and he knows she knows that too. but he doesn't have a solution for it. ]

Yeah. But this wasn't what I ever wanted for you. [because yeah, it's not great. he was already kind of struggling with...a lot of things, and now there is this.] Either way, I'd rather you be with me wherever we go right now.

[both to monitor his brain problems and because she wants to be close to him.]

I don't want this for you either. [ being here. she deserves better than dying! haha. anyway making myself sad aside; ] But it's like I said. I'm not going anywhere.

[...it is alpha week and despite everything she is, actually, still a sad girl so she's moving to scoot closer to rest her head against his shoulder. she would just climb on him but he would probably combust. also this is monday and she's busy dragging him for being a dumb virgin for the next two days.

so. comfort cuddles it is. and normally she'd probably say something else, but she's still, uh, kind of traumatized from the last few days (or weeks, really), so it's quiet for a long moment.]

...I want to stay with you. [which is maybe similar to what she'd just said about wanting him with her, but it's framed differently. this is an aerith who knows that when they figure things out, and if everyone does get to find a way home, she won't be with him the way she wants to be.]

[ comfort cuddles is fine, since alpha week means he incredibly has no issues wrapping an arm around her waist to hold her close when she scoots closer. wow. ]

...You can. [ there's a part of him that still feels that guilt, when he thinks of zack, but aerith doesn't want to be alone and he doesn't want to leave her alone either, so. even though he is unaware it is a lie: ] As long as you want.

[impressive, cloud. you ever think about the possibility they may still not kiss this week because everything happens a lot. it's fine. anyway she's happier like this, to say the least. she has no idea what he's thinking about (zero idea he's still thinking about zack, because to her, zack is her first love and always will be, but things are different for them.)]

And if I said it was for a long time...?

[ IF THEY DON'T KISS THIS WEEK I'M GOING TO KILL MYSELF

he is thinking about zack and about tifa because he is a little poly bitch. except not really right this second. because she says that and he just tilts his head to look at her ]

Wouldn't change my answer.

[WE ARE ALREADY DEAD.

to be fair she's thinking more about tifa than she would be about zack because up until about a week or so ago she really did think zack was gone and she herself would soon be gone, too. cloud needed tifa. and tifa needed cloud. that was always the plan, in a way, back when she sort of knew what she was doing.

granted she'd been...kinda too stupid to think about her own feelings and now is in the middle of "oh. well. this happened." and finds herself thinking that while cloud and tifa should in fact still be together...she's not going to deny it? obviously she cares about him and wants him for herself. so...even with that in mind, she is pushing the other two hands of the poly aside for a moment.]

Then that's my answer.

Then like I said. As long as you want.

[ even if it is a really long time. even with everything he's never entirely sure how she feels, because what feels like a million years ago she told him not to fall in love with her, and that if he had it wouldn't be real. and then, in that dream...

liking and "liking", right?

so he doesn't know even with everything else they've done. he wants to be there for her, though. be there with her. that part's real. maybe that's what matters. ]

[yeah, that's aerith's own behavior (and her dream self's behavior???) biting her in the ass a little. you can't always control how you feel, despite the warnings and doing your best to try and help someone avoid a heartache.

boothill had asked her what they were to each other, and when she'd said they were just friends she'd thought that maybe that wasn't quite right anymore. they're not dating either, that's not right either. it's some weird in-between she hasn't quite figured out just yet, nor has she figured out how to broach the topic. instead, she keeps herself planted firmly in his side and she ponders quietly, thinking of which of the many thousands of topics bouncing around in her head she wants to try to address.]

Thank you, Cloud. [she starts with that, because sometimes she's still not entirely sure he knows how much he's done for her and what he means in general.] ...hey. Do you think...I mean, we have to find a way back. We can't leave Yuffie alone, and we need to get home. We need to get everyone out of here and come back. But...do you think it's wrong to sometimes...not focus on only that?

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