Lilium Derived from Latin lilia, which may have come from a corrupted pronunciation of a word from an extinct Eastern Mediterranean language Humility, devotion, restored innocence after death
"Lovers used to give these when they were reunited."
[ well good because he is keeping his fingers in her hair. running through it. she has a lot of hair. ]
You're not giving me much to work with.
[ he complains while letting aerith do whatever she wants so it is his own damn fault. in this case, whatever she wants it a little bite on the neck, and that gets another little breathy ah, his fingers curling a little at their spot on her back, eyes half-lidded. bottom energy, but. yeah, he does not dislike that. ]
[cloud your bottom energy...not that she didn't already know he had it, but this is fine by her. she's aware of his fingers curling against her, and she breathes out a little sigh over him even when she bites down slightly harder since he seems okay with it. it means she also has a free hand to run up along cloud's side just because she can.]
Little thing number one. Your time. Little thing number two. Your attention. Little thing number three. You with me. And little thing number four...[a nip.] We'll see.
[ it is surprisingly easy to say things like this when aerith is in his lap biting at his neck, it turns out. she's probably never going to get a lot of noise out of him, but she's close enough to hear it, the hitches in his breath and the way it catches when she bites down harder. she's also close enough to feel how he tenses and relaxes immediately at the touch at his side; unexpected but not unwelcome. he trails his hand to the back of her neck, messing with the short hairs at her nape. as if to compensate, his other hand goes down a little lower, back to the small of her back, pressing her closer even though they are pretty damn close already! ]
[honestly she'd be more startled if he was loud about it, actually, so this suits her fine because normally cloud has resting bitchface about most things anyway. besides, this really is just for her. it's a private, coveted thing, something she can keep for her own memories and know exactly what affects him and what he might like.
she's aware that she should maybe slow them down and little and stop pushing him, but she's also aware she kinda doesn't want to? cloud can hit the breaks whenever he wants, and there's a surprised little sound when she feels him drag her closer. they really are extremely close already. there isn't exactly a ton of space for her to go closer now that she's very much settled on top of him, but she's also not going to discourage his hand from wherever it's going right now. she's more or less mimicking motions at this rate. or, perhaps, setting an example for cloud to follow.]
Sometimes...it was hard to tell. [because cloud's so focused on their mission. because aerith has her own problems to focus on. because there's a sixteen year old out there waiting for them. because there's a whole team of their friends they're missing. a multitude of reasons to be unsure, but this does make it much more clear.] Like you weren't sure if you were ever interested.
[ it is resting there for now, just above her butt, while they have a very serious discussion about attraction. ]
It wasn't like that. [ well. it was, and it wasn't, but it's more complicated than not knowing if he was interested or not. a little closer to not knowing if he should be, or even if she was, and then all the other factors he is refusing to think about right now. and they had been-- busy. always busy, since they met. with shinra, with sephiroth, with the cult. ] Never had any issue telling people when I wasn't interested in something, have I?
[ it is practically his catchphrase, he knows. but. honesty for honesty: ]
[again, super fine with it. she's really out here straddling him on her bed and necking him and they're having a weirdly serious conversation about like and like and the world being too busy for them to explore this before now. she stops biting for the moment, settling for a little kiss in the juncture between his neck and his shoulder and tucking her face there to listen, one hand at the back of cloud's neck and the other trailing fingers over his side where she can reach.]
Good point. You're really good at telling people to beat it when you're not in the mood. [always funny to witness, but when she thinks about it he really has not tried to get rid of her since they very first met. and to the rest...she shifts a little in his lap to make herself more comfortable, lips brushing against him every now and then while she talks.] Maybe I wasn't really, at first. After all, you were just some guy who came crashing through my roof and helped throw Reno off my trail. And...it never felt like we really had time to consider it. Or like it was a bad idea to when there were so many other things we had to think about. [like shinra. sephiroth. tifa. zack. everything.]
But I'm serious right now. Have been for a little while, actually.
[ thinks about how he has a hickey for trial but no one can see it so it's Okay. he lets her keep kissing and touching. somehow, despite the fact that she's being so intimate, it's still easier than having this conversation while staring each other in the eyes. he doesn't want any hesitation he feels to reflect on his face and make her think he regrets this.
a lot of what she's saying is how he felt too, really. no time. other things to think about. he was pretty sure she still had feelings for zack, even. and he's not certain that isn't still the case, but...well. it's a bit late to consider what that might mean later down the line if they're already doing this.
that doesn't make him not curious, though. ]
How long's a little while? [ does he get to know? also what if the hand on her back kind of slides over her back to her hip to run over her thigh. what if he is testing that. for curiosity's sake. ]
[yeah. he sure does. she's not done yet either which is the worst part but cloud wears turtlenecks enough nobody will ever know. as it is, she's content to take her time with what she's doing here, fingers brushing through the ends of his hair and lips still softly mouthing at him while he takes his time to decide what to say to that.
of course she still has feelings for zack, just like she knows he has feelings for tifa. that was just another part of it, but at the same time she thinks in this exact moment that does not matter as much, because they have feelings for each other. maybe that's the part they should focus on right now. the hand on her back moves, stroking over her hip and to her thigh and without really thinking about it it means she presses her leg up into cloud's hand. the problem with that is it means spreading her thighs a little wider over him, but that's probably fine. she's too busy brushing over his hair and working her teeth over the nicely reddening patch of skin at his neck.]
Dunno. Um...maybe by our date? The Skywheel. [maybe a little before that. she was kind of doomed around then though.
"you're not him, but that's okay. because right now i wanna be with you."
[ it is like. very distracting how much she's enjoying nipping at his neck. also distracting: her pushing her leg against his hand and spreading her legs a little more. she cannot see the way his eyes drift down there but it is happening. hello. pets thigh more? it's over her dress and it's a soft touch but he is curious and exploring reactions as well.
on a less physical front, he frowns a little at her answer, because... ]
That's pretty recent. [ he's not sure how he feels about it? the recency. not that he knows if he could pinpoint it for himself, so maybe he shouldn't think about it too hard. especially since he also remembers the same phrase she's thinking of now. ] And after that, we...
[ hmm. a lot of things happened after that. some which makes his head hurt if he thinks too hard about it. ]
We didn't have a lot of time to talk. [ he is going to settle on that. ]
[this is kind of less fair because she is pretty sure cloud has no idea what he's doing. and also, while this isn't much of anything (gentle touches, everything over clothes), it's by far the most intimate kind of touching they've explored together so far. her face remains against his neck, and while his hand continues to pet over her thigh it means she bites down a little harder. this is not a negative reaction, judging by the way she shifts a little further for comfort and to adjust over him.
on the less physical front...she sighs.]
Maybe I should rephrase it as...maybe by then, I was okay acknowledging what I knew I wasn't sure we could have. [because if she's honest with herself, she's liked him for some time and really just tried so hard to avoid it for his own sake. and that never quite worked out the way she wanted.] But we didn't have a lot of time to talk after. And then we came here, and we had Yuffie to look after and we knew we had to find a way back, and it felt...selfish, really, to think more about it when I know you had a bigger picture in mind. And that was okay. I did, too. But...I don't want to ignore it anymore.
[ they are truly doing these intimate exploratory touches while having this talk and it is kind of a funny dichotomy. she likes the petting, and he, well-- learned something new today in that he likes the biting, which was not a thing he considered before. he pets a little higher up her thigh, almost teasing, before his hand drifts as he experimentally squeezes her leg through the skirt? this isn't really a thing, but he's just. trying touches, here.
"what I knew I wasn't sure we could have", huh. ]
... I don't want to only think about the bigger picture. [ not only because the bigger picture is sephiroth and he is sick and tired of being forever linked to him, though that is a big part of it. but despite pretenses he has things he wants and things he feels and he's not necessarily good at putting them aside. ] Even if this is selfish, I...
[ want it too. he doesn't outright say it because he thinks it's obvious by now, and because he has said so much already give his little baby heart a break he is not this good at words ]
[it's not even so much that she likes the petting (she does, in a weird way), it's really she just likes the touch from cloud in general. she likes that he feels comfortable enough with her to try, and to be fair to her it's...y'know. been a while since anyone has touched her. feeling it from cloud is new, and she's not going to rush him into deciding what he wants to try. he squeezes her leg through her skirt and there's a little noise of surprised muffled into his neck, but she doesn't push him away. there's just another kiss to his collarbone.]
...yeah. [she gets it. he doesn't have to outright say it given they're here right now, but even the aborted attempt helps her know it's not just her. that cloud really does care in his own way, that he wants to take this plunge with her even knowing the battles they have ahead. it's reassuring in its own way.] We have a little more time now, don't we? So...we can use it to take a little more of what we want from each other.
[ HIS COLLARBONE? she's going so LOW. he really has to be wearing a tank top now. the noise of surprise makes him hesitate a bit, bring his hand up a little further down. she didn't push him away but he's also aware of like. what would be too much and he is not going to be the one to push them that way, not because he is baby bottom virgin (though he is) but because. feminism tm he doesn't want to be a pushy guy when they are just kissing. even by accident. ]
We've got time. [ it's easy to agree, and it's easier still to press against the top of aerith's spine to mimic the light massage she was giving him earlier with his non leggy hand. ] Feels more like sharing each other than taking from each other.
[ is that--weird? sentimental? he doesn't think she's taking anything from him, is the point. it's friday she is not taking his virginity so he's right ]
[huh. oh yeah i guess that is kinda low huh. WHATEVER she's not going to stay that far down anyway. there's a huff of air against his neck when she feels his hand slide again, and for the moment she does finally stop actively kissing and biting him to let herself be held in his lap and take a few breaths. cozy...and also, a little dizzying in a good way.
that doesn't really last long because she's arching up into the hand on her back with a pleased little hum. that feels nice, thank you very much.]
Same thing. [she is definitely grinning because she knows it's not. but she considers this again.] This is all new to you, right? You set the pace here.
[ she's grinning and pleased but he looks torn between being a little offended at how sure she is it's new to him (which like. yes. it kind of is. but shut up.) and also a little overwhelmed with the idea of setting the pace. can't she just. tell him what she wants. what the hell. ]
You don't have to slow down for me. [ which isn't quite what she said, but is what it sounds like to him? ] I'm not... [ hmmm. no. ] I can keep up.
[ with whatever she wants!!! he can handle it!!! he is a big boy!!!!! <= thinking this makes him a loser ]
[cloud. sweetheart. you can't mentally bitch about being assigned a virgin and also mentally bitch that she should say exactly what she wants. she still looks fairly amused, hand rubbing along the back of his neck for a moment.]
Sure about that?
[
did you remember it's alpha week, why the FUCK would you say that because now it's a Challenge.]
[she lifts her face from his neck finally, pulling back just a little to look him in the eyes. yeah? yeah, bottom??? do not forget you brought this upon yourself, cloud.
that is to say she just very pointedly grinds down against his lap since she's here.]
[ OK HE DIDN'T THINK HER PACE WAS THAT FAST well the good news for aerith is that while there is a pretty blush on his face now, the surprised noise he let out is probably as loud as he'll ever get and he's staring at her wide-eyed but he doesn't look. like. against this turn of events? just. very surprised. ]
--That's your pace? [ a little squawked because. AERITH? he's hiked his hand back to grasp under her thigh at the grind. mostly reflexively and also. pretty girl he is into kissing wants to grind in his lap he's not not into it even if he is very flustered about it ]
[oh this is so funny, please help. the amusement does not at all go away from her expression but she does at least stop what she's doing to let cloud's hand grip her. there's also just a very innocent blink. guileless behavior, as if she doesn't know exactly what she's doing here.]
What's wrong? I thought you could keep up. [she's not directly making fun of him, but she is proving a point. cloud. cloud pay attention. she is very much more experienced than you are and that was the point of you setting the pace.]
I can. [ a little sulkily, because it's a challenge, but also glancing at her face and then back at their lap and looking more flustered because [virgin voice] good heavens ] I just didn't you'd... want that.
[ or more precisely want that so fast, it's not like he thought aerith was too pure to be a sexual being or something. just. y'know. they have kissed for the first time 20 minutes ago ]
[hm...using both hands to pet his cheeks before holding them so she can peck his lips. cute.]
I don't. Not right away, I think, but...I'm not against it, maybe? [and for a moment she actually falters herself, like she's taking a moment to kind of go "hm perhaps this is too much too fast for him."] If that's what you decide you want, too. It doesn't have to be that much, this is also fine.
[sort of. she is still pretty much centered right over his dick at this rate, i'm realizing.]
[ my TYPO i missed a wHOLE WORD. anyway yeah she's very much on his dick small leave him alone and he is aware of this, thanks. please do not pay attention to his dick ma'am he is not mentally ready to have to acknowledge that ]
... As long as it's not right away, I'm... [ oh admitting this while she's sitting there and also holding his face so he can't turn away is. woof. but he can do it he's gonna do it ] I'm not against it, either.
[ ohhhhhhh he did it. he said it. please kiss him instead that was easier to deal with he's not gonna stop blushing for a bit ]
[listen he said to stop grinding, she's not going to pay attention to his dick right now. "that's not what cloud said" said to stop grinding. which is, hm, a little difficult because she's here and she finds herself closing her legs a little around him which probably doesn't help much either. it's more of an afterthought than a real movement, but her fingertips stroke over his jaw for a bit.
admittedly she probably needs to calm the fuck down anyway. she's not insane. she wouldn't sleep with him right away, not when they're very obviously figuring things out, but she does stand firm in her decision that she's willing to go his pace to explore things, even if it's forcing her to think about the things she would accept from him right now.
kissing's a good start though, and when he agrees with her she smiles a little, scooting forward again to kiss him gently. it's a little softer and sweeter, something deep and coaxing him to follow along for a few moments.]
[ no it does not help, but that's fine, he can ignore it in favor of focusing on her smile, or the way her fingers trace his jaw, or, admittedly best distraction of all, kissing. kissing is easy! kissing is great! he is completely fine with following along to something deep, too, rubbing over the top of her spine with his fingers.
none of that stops him from looking like he's pouting when she calls him cute ]
Aerith. [ grumble. she's not gonna take cute back and he doesn't really want a different compliment either, but also, she is terrible and needs to stop teasing him why did he sign up for this ]
no subject
You're not giving me much to work with.
[ he complains while letting aerith do whatever she wants so it is his own damn fault. in this case, whatever she wants it a little bite on the neck, and that gets another little breathy ah, his fingers curling a little at their spot on her back, eyes half-lidded. bottom energy, but. yeah, he does not dislike that. ]
no subject
Little thing number one. Your time. Little thing number two. Your attention. Little thing number three. You with me. And little thing number four...[a nip.] We'll see.
no subject
[ it is surprisingly easy to say things like this when aerith is in his lap biting at his neck, it turns out. she's probably never going to get a lot of noise out of him, but she's close enough to hear it, the hitches in his breath and the way it catches when she bites down harder. she's also close enough to feel how he tenses and relaxes immediately at the touch at his side; unexpected but not unwelcome. he trails his hand to the back of her neck, messing with the short hairs at her nape. as if to compensate, his other hand goes down a little lower, back to the small of her back, pressing her closer even though they are pretty damn close already! ]
no subject
she's aware that she should maybe slow them down and little and stop pushing him, but she's also aware she kinda doesn't want to? cloud can hit the breaks whenever he wants, and there's a surprised little sound when she feels him drag her closer. they really are extremely close already. there isn't exactly a ton of space for her to go closer now that she's very much settled on top of him, but she's also not going to discourage his hand from wherever it's going right now. she's more or less mimicking motions at this rate. or, perhaps, setting an example for cloud to follow.]
Sometimes...it was hard to tell. [because cloud's so focused on their mission. because aerith has her own problems to focus on. because there's a sixteen year old out there waiting for them. because there's a whole team of their friends they're missing. a multitude of reasons to be unsure, but this does make it much more clear.] Like you weren't sure if you were ever interested.
no subject
It wasn't like that. [ well. it was, and it wasn't, but it's more complicated than not knowing if he was interested or not. a little closer to not knowing if he should be, or even if she was, and then all the other factors he is refusing to think about right now. and they had been-- busy. always busy, since they met. with shinra, with sephiroth, with the cult. ] Never had any issue telling people when I wasn't interested in something, have I?
[ it is practically his catchphrase, he knows. but. honesty for honesty: ]
I wasn't always sure you were... serious.
no subject
Good point. You're really good at telling people to beat it when you're not in the mood. [always funny to witness, but when she thinks about it he really has not tried to get rid of her since they very first met. and to the rest...she shifts a little in his lap to make herself more comfortable, lips brushing against him every now and then while she talks.] Maybe I wasn't really, at first. After all, you were just some guy who came crashing through my roof and helped throw Reno off my trail. And...it never felt like we really had time to consider it. Or like it was a bad idea to when there were so many other things we had to think about. [like shinra. sephiroth. tifa. zack. everything.]
But I'm serious right now. Have been for a little while, actually.
no subject
a lot of what she's saying is how he felt too, really. no time. other things to think about. he was pretty sure she still had feelings for zack, even. and he's not certain that isn't still the case, but...well. it's a bit late to consider what that might mean later down the line if they're already doing this.
that doesn't make him not curious, though. ]
How long's a little while? [ does he get to know? also what if the hand on her back kind of slides over her back to her hip to run over her thigh. what if he is testing that. for curiosity's sake. ]
no subject
of course she still has feelings for zack, just like she knows he has feelings for tifa. that was just another part of it, but at the same time she thinks in this exact moment that does not matter as much, because they have feelings for each other. maybe that's the part they should focus on right now. the hand on her back moves, stroking over her hip and to her thigh and without really thinking about it it means she presses her leg up into cloud's hand. the problem with that is it means spreading her thighs a little wider over him, but that's probably fine. she's too busy brushing over his hair and working her teeth over the nicely reddening patch of skin at his neck.]
Dunno. Um...maybe by our date? The Skywheel. [maybe a little before that. she was kind of doomed around then though.
"you're not him, but that's okay. because right now i wanna be with you."
she knew by then it was too late to turn back.]
no subject
on a less physical front, he frowns a little at her answer, because... ]
That's pretty recent. [ he's not sure how he feels about it? the recency. not that he knows if he could pinpoint it for himself, so maybe he shouldn't think about it too hard. especially since he also remembers the same phrase she's thinking of now. ] And after that, we...
[ hmm. a lot of things happened after that. some which makes his head hurt if he thinks too hard about it. ]
We didn't have a lot of time to talk. [ he is going to settle on that. ]
no subject
on the less physical front...she sighs.]
Maybe I should rephrase it as...maybe by then, I was okay acknowledging what I knew I wasn't sure we could have. [because if she's honest with herself, she's liked him for some time and really just tried so hard to avoid it for his own sake. and that never quite worked out the way she wanted.] But we didn't have a lot of time to talk after. And then we came here, and we had Yuffie to look after and we knew we had to find a way back, and it felt...selfish, really, to think more about it when I know you had a bigger picture in mind. And that was okay. I did, too. But...I don't want to ignore it anymore.
no subject
"what I knew I wasn't sure we could have", huh. ]
... I don't want to only think about the bigger picture. [ not only because the bigger picture is sephiroth and he is sick and tired of being forever linked to him, though that is a big part of it. but despite pretenses he has things he wants and things he feels and he's not necessarily good at putting them aside. ] Even if this is selfish, I...
[ want it too. he doesn't outright say it because he thinks it's obvious by now, and because he has said so much already give his little baby heart a break he is not this good at words ]
no subject
...yeah. [she gets it. he doesn't have to outright say it given they're here right now, but even the aborted attempt helps her know it's not just her. that cloud really does care in his own way, that he wants to take this plunge with her even knowing the battles they have ahead. it's reassuring in its own way.] We have a little more time now, don't we? So...we can use it to take a little more of what we want from each other.
no subject
We've got time. [ it's easy to agree, and it's easier still to press against the top of aerith's spine to mimic the light massage she was giving him earlier with his non leggy hand. ] Feels more like sharing each other than taking from each other.
[ is that--weird? sentimental? he doesn't think she's taking anything from him, is the point. it's friday she is not taking his virginity so he's right ]
no subject
that doesn't really last long because she's arching up into the hand on her back with a pleased little hum. that feels nice, thank you very much.]
Same thing. [she is definitely grinning because she knows it's not. but she considers this again.] This is all new to you, right? You set the pace here.
no subject
You don't have to slow down for me. [ which isn't quite what she said, but is what it sounds like to him? ] I'm not... [ hmmm. no. ] I can keep up.
[ with whatever she wants!!! he can handle it!!! he is a big boy!!!!! <= thinking this makes him a loser ]
no subject
Sure about that?
[
did you remember it's alpha week, why the FUCK would you say that because now it's a Challenge.]
no subject
Wouldn't say it if I wasn't.
[ :/ ]
no subject
that is to say she just very pointedly grinds down against his lap since she's here.]
no subject
--That's your pace? [ a little squawked because. AERITH? he's hiked his hand back to grasp under her thigh at the grind. mostly reflexively and also. pretty girl he is into kissing wants to grind in his lap he's not not into it even if he is very flustered about it ]
no subject
What's wrong? I thought you could keep up. [she's not directly making fun of him, but she is proving a point. cloud. cloud pay attention. she is very much more experienced than you are and that was the point of you setting the pace.]
no subject
[ or more precisely want that so fast, it's not like he thought aerith was too pure to be a sexual being or something. just. y'know. they have kissed for the first time 20 minutes ago ]
no subject
I don't. Not right away, I think, but...I'm not against it, maybe? [and for a moment she actually falters herself, like she's taking a moment to kind of go "hm perhaps this is too much too fast for him."] If that's what you decide you want, too. It doesn't have to be that much, this is also fine.
[sort of. she is still pretty much centered right over his dick at this rate, i'm realizing.]
no subject
small leave him aloneand he is aware of this, thanks. please do not pay attention to his dick ma'am he is not mentally ready to have to acknowledge that ]... As long as it's not right away, I'm... [ oh admitting this while she's sitting there and also holding his face so he can't turn away is. woof. but he can do it he's gonna do it ] I'm not against it, either.
[ ohhhhhhh he did it. he said it. please kiss him instead that was easier to deal with he's not gonna stop blushing for a bit ]
no subject
admittedly she probably needs to calm the fuck down anyway. she's not insane. she wouldn't sleep with him right away, not when they're very obviously figuring things out, but she does stand firm in her decision that she's willing to go his pace to explore things, even if it's forcing her to think about the things she would accept from him right now.
kissing's a good start though, and when he agrees with her she smiles a little, scooting forward again to kiss him gently. it's a little softer and sweeter, something deep and coaxing him to follow along for a few moments.]
You're cute, you know that? [eheh.]
no subject
none of that stops him from looking like he's pouting when she calls him cute ]
Aerith. [ grumble. she's not gonna take cute back and he doesn't really want a different compliment either, but also, she is terrible and needs to stop teasing him why did he sign up for this ]
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)