Digitalis Old English folklore said that foxes wore the flowers on their paws to silence movement and stealthily stalk prey. Healing, pain, insincerity, insecurity
[silence isn't bad. or maybe she's used to this. at least this is almost a comforting sort of silence that comes from knowing someone's still nearby rather than the deafening silence of knowing you're alone and ignored.
but she tilts her head a bit to the first part, because she's kind of like "yes this makes sense" while also going "okay this man did somehow get married though" but she does have enough sense not to point that part out. it's a little more to fill in the puzzle of who daan is.]
Maybe I just don't want to make mistakes with people who matter. [a little bit of honesty, because aerith tends to put more pressure on herself than anything. her idea of being selfish really is like visiting the parents of a boy she used to love and introducing herself and learning more about his upbringing when nobody's heard from said-boy for five years. she'd thought of herself as selfish for wanting to satisfy that curiosity, for not thinking about how it would make his parents feel. and here, she sometimes wonders if she's going to push some of these people too far by being as curious as she is and being as stubborn as she can be sometimes. these are all fun things for later. all in all, she doesn't disagree.]
But it is hard sometimes. I can't say it isn't. I don't want to be the person who sends a person backwards just because of something I've said. But I don't want to stop trying to reach people either.
[ Stop... his wife... but I guess tbf Daan is also kind of like 'how did I get married' energy himself anyways. ]
...
Birds don't learn to fly until they take that risk. Kids don't learn to play until they know how much a knee scrape hurts. Practice makes perfect, and pain makes living... something like that.
Wounds can't heal if you don't have them in the first place.
[ Daan isn't one of those hardass people who think suffering is a necessary facet of living -- in fact, he'd like a lot less of it in the world, too. But he knows it's what people say, that living your life afraid of every broken bone isn't actually a way to live. ]
[the funniest part of this, maybe, is that while the words are a little different this is the same sentiment she's been spouting at people on and off for a while now. you have to try. you always have to try, because what's the point if you don't, and how are you going to know if you don't? maybe she's slightly hypocritical that way herself, hiding her own insecurities about how she engages with people behind a wall that constantly encourages everyone else.
so yeah. nothing about what he says is wrong.]
That, I think, is something you and I can both agree on. [admittedly she feels a little silly for elaborating the way she did, but she's also aware that sometimes you have to share some things for people to feel like they can share anything back.] Just another thing we have to remind ourselves and everyone else to keep going every day.
Maybe sometimes you have to repeat it just to make sure it sticks with some people. [so yes. they have had this conversation a lot, aerith has had this conversation a lot with other people, and she foresees it as a conversation she's going to continue having.]
I don't want anyone falling behind because they feel like there isn't another option but to give up. Especially since it feels like this may get harder the longer we're here.
[that's fair. pretty flowers are fine, she cares not as long as there's effort. but she looks at him for a moment when he says that.]
You think? [this is genuinely kind of like "i'm not sure i'm doing anything special" rather than "yeah obviously because we're a group of sad people."] Maybe that kind of thing is just important to me.
[she does in fact know how much of the world doesn't care about others, and the closed-lipped smile from her seems to say so.]
...I think it's the best I can do right now. I'm not as good at fighting or anything like that like some of the others here. We all have to play to our strengths, right?
You never know. Some people don't think much about it at first. [some people accidentally step on flowers and that makes her annoyed.] But I'm sure they appreciate that.
[there's a gentle nudge from her. affectionately.]
We can talk all about the afterlife another time. [because she has thoughts (of course she does) but she doesn't think it's important now.] The sooner they're there, the sooner they'll know.
[even if they aren't around, and even if they can't see it, she thinks at least the gesture will go back out into the world. like positive energy. it's the best they can do right now. and we can probably call this one good if you want lowe and i'll kick in your door post-trial or post-ex, whichever is good.]
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but she tilts her head a bit to the first part, because she's kind of like "yes this makes sense" while also going "okay this man did somehow get married though" but she does have enough sense not to point that part out. it's a little more to fill in the puzzle of who daan is.]
Maybe I just don't want to make mistakes with people who matter. [a little bit of honesty, because aerith tends to put more pressure on herself than anything. her idea of being selfish really is like visiting the parents of a boy she used to love and introducing herself and learning more about his upbringing when nobody's heard from said-boy for five years. she'd thought of herself as selfish for wanting to satisfy that curiosity, for not thinking about how it would make his parents feel. and here, she sometimes wonders if she's going to push some of these people too far by being as curious as she is and being as stubborn as she can be sometimes. these are all fun things for later. all in all, she doesn't disagree.]
But it is hard sometimes. I can't say it isn't. I don't want to be the person who sends a person backwards just because of something I've said. But I don't want to stop trying to reach people either.
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...
Birds don't learn to fly until they take that risk. Kids don't learn to play until they know how much a knee scrape hurts. Practice makes perfect, and pain makes living... something like that.
Wounds can't heal if you don't have them in the first place.
[ Daan isn't one of those hardass people who think suffering is a necessary facet of living -- in fact, he'd like a lot less of it in the world, too. But he knows it's what people say, that living your life afraid of every broken bone isn't actually a way to live. ]
You'll never know if you don't try, right?
Sometimes all you can do is try.
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so yeah. nothing about what he says is wrong.]
That, I think, is something you and I can both agree on. [admittedly she feels a little silly for elaborating the way she did, but she's also aware that sometimes you have to share some things for people to feel like they can share anything back.] Just another thing we have to remind ourselves and everyone else to keep going every day.
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It might even be repetitive.
[ How many times have they had this conversation alone, let alone Aerith with other people? ]
But it's better than the alternative.
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I don't want anyone falling behind because they feel like there isn't another option but to give up. Especially since it feels like this may get harder the longer we're here.
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You're a much needed presence, Ms. Gainsborough.
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You think? [this is genuinely kind of like "i'm not sure i'm doing anything special" rather than "yeah obviously because we're a group of sad people."] Maybe that kind of thing is just important to me.
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Sometimes even if it feels like much, it's nice to have someone who tries.
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...I think it's the best I can do right now. I'm not as good at fighting or anything like that like some of the others here. We all have to play to our strengths, right?
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I can do all the physical healing in the world, but I'm not good with the bedside manners.
[ Emotional healer, Aerith. ]
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Well, you're being delicate right now which is a start. [she means with the flowers, but also in at least having this conversation.]
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[ He's not that much of a jackass. ]
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[ Looking at their memorial plates. ]
Looks good.
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Mmhm. Let's go drop these off then. I think they'll appreciate the effort even if they aren't here to see them.
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But right now, I kind of hope so too.
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We can talk all about the afterlife another time. [because she has thoughts (of course she does) but she doesn't think it's important now.] The sooner they're there, the sooner they'll know.
[even if they aren't around, and even if they can't see it, she thinks at least the gesture will go back out into the world. like positive energy. it's the best they can do right now. and we can probably call this one good if you want lowe and i'll kick in your door post-trial or post-ex, whichever is good.]
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I know you mean well, but I don't really know that I want to.
[ Politely. Nothing against her, really. Doing what they can on the living, sometimes he can barely handle that let alone everything else. ]
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