Digitalis Old English folklore said that foxes wore the flowers on their paws to silence movement and stealthily stalk prey. Healing, pain, insincerity, insecurity
[ Losing it she really just read his ass in front of Daan. ]
...
Very concise breakdown, Ms. Gainsborough. But I think I more or less agree. He's a little blunt, but we need someone who won't talk around the harder things sometimes.
I mean... I could be that person, but I'm no good at it.
Right! [she says, somehow not caring she really just exposed him like this because daan has a point. they need someone who'll be blunt when they need it...even if that someone is a slightly too blunt eighteen year old. but there's a moment's pause and she tilts her head, adding another bit of fruit to the plate.]
...Daan, what would you say that you think you're good at? [spoilers, gojo said almost this exact thing to her and she asked him the same question. why are you both this way.]
Be honest... do I look like the type? I'm really not. I don't think even if I had served in the infantry, I'd still answer that I was good at combat.
[ Like... he wouldn't say he CAN'T fight at all, but he is not delusional enough to be like oh yeah! I'm heckin' great at that. I say, while he is one of the more annoying/dangerous characters to fight and somehow has the highest accuracy skill in the game in a way. ]
Oh, no, I don't think you're the type to fight. [she's just out here going "yeah no i wouldn't count you as a fighter." also love that for him.] But I meant when I was talking to Gojo about trying to keep people on track and talk to them, and he said he wasn't really good at it. I asked what he thought he was good at and he said combat. Your answer is making drinks. And I think both of those things are skills that require observing people to know what best to serve them.
So. You might not feel like you're not good at not talking around the hard things, but I do think you're probably better about some pieces of it than you think.
[ Thank you. Others have agreed. He's maybe internally a little like hey that she just countered with the agreement so fast even though he said it first. ]
Oh, don't understand me, Ms. Gainsborough... if I had to, I will. I'm under no actual obligation to help anybody like a real doctor should, let alone be nice about it. Never actually took that Oath...
Still... dealing with people is hard? I guess that's what it is, in the end.
For good things or bad things... never really been good with people.
[this is going to be a little harder for her to believe come thursday, but it's okay. for argument's sake, she lets him say his piece and she nods along. she knows better than to underestimate what people will do, but...she's also stubborn when it comes to her impressions of people. it might make her a little annoying to some, but it's just how she's been. trying to see the best in people, and trying to prove there's something else there.]
...would you believe me if I said I'm still learning how to really talk to people? [that aside:] Nobody's going to force you to be better than you feel you can be, but I think you've done pretty okay with me so far.
[ He is just as contradictory in the game so this tracks. He really has a conversational spiel with another character about this and every player who has seen him hanging around the Old Town the entire first day just helping sick people is like okay jackass. ]
I'd be surprised if you did. You sound like someone you'd have a natural morning pleasant conversation with while I get a daily flower and a coffee.
[yeah this tracks, i'm gonna hang this man upside down and shake him. it's okay, aerith is simply going to just ignore him being contradictory because she's had enough of this bullshit from cloud, too. you learn to pick and choose what you want to believe.
for the rest, she smiles a little before looking at the plate. that should be enough for now, she thinks, so she gestures for him to follow so they can pick some flowers.]
It's true. [she's aware how she comes off. she's fully aware she comes off as bubbly and friendly and overly chatty by nature because...well, she is. but that doesn't mean much when you don't get a lot of chances to engage with the outside world, and when you know you're extremely different from everyone around you and it leaves you alone so often. she doesn't continue immediately as they walk, as if she's formulating how to say this.] ...I didn't really have the same experiences as other people when I was little. I didn't get to make friends or talk to many other people until I was older. There were people I knew around the sector, but nobody I really could consider someone I was close to. So maybe I'm trying to make up for all of that now. But even now...sometimes I say the wrong thing, or I ask questions that're selfish ones because I didn't think of how it'd make someone else feel. I don't always think about how the things I want could be something that could hurt somebody else.
[ Where Aerith is talented in filling the space with conversation, Daan is the opposite -- silence swallows him like a mist, but according to others, it's not all so bad. Allegedly. He follows as a quiet presence, letting her mull over her words before she continues any further. ]
...
Not sure if it'd make you feel better about it, but I was kind of the same. The social part, I mean.
[ Not so much the conversation part, but again, he's more of the silent type anyway. ]
But you know... it's only human to make mistakes. Especially when it comes to conversation.
[silence isn't bad. or maybe she's used to this. at least this is almost a comforting sort of silence that comes from knowing someone's still nearby rather than the deafening silence of knowing you're alone and ignored.
but she tilts her head a bit to the first part, because she's kind of like "yes this makes sense" while also going "okay this man did somehow get married though" but she does have enough sense not to point that part out. it's a little more to fill in the puzzle of who daan is.]
Maybe I just don't want to make mistakes with people who matter. [a little bit of honesty, because aerith tends to put more pressure on herself than anything. her idea of being selfish really is like visiting the parents of a boy she used to love and introducing herself and learning more about his upbringing when nobody's heard from said-boy for five years. she'd thought of herself as selfish for wanting to satisfy that curiosity, for not thinking about how it would make his parents feel. and here, she sometimes wonders if she's going to push some of these people too far by being as curious as she is and being as stubborn as she can be sometimes. these are all fun things for later. all in all, she doesn't disagree.]
But it is hard sometimes. I can't say it isn't. I don't want to be the person who sends a person backwards just because of something I've said. But I don't want to stop trying to reach people either.
[ Stop... his wife... but I guess tbf Daan is also kind of like 'how did I get married' energy himself anyways. ]
...
Birds don't learn to fly until they take that risk. Kids don't learn to play until they know how much a knee scrape hurts. Practice makes perfect, and pain makes living... something like that.
Wounds can't heal if you don't have them in the first place.
[ Daan isn't one of those hardass people who think suffering is a necessary facet of living -- in fact, he'd like a lot less of it in the world, too. But he knows it's what people say, that living your life afraid of every broken bone isn't actually a way to live. ]
[the funniest part of this, maybe, is that while the words are a little different this is the same sentiment she's been spouting at people on and off for a while now. you have to try. you always have to try, because what's the point if you don't, and how are you going to know if you don't? maybe she's slightly hypocritical that way herself, hiding her own insecurities about how she engages with people behind a wall that constantly encourages everyone else.
so yeah. nothing about what he says is wrong.]
That, I think, is something you and I can both agree on. [admittedly she feels a little silly for elaborating the way she did, but she's also aware that sometimes you have to share some things for people to feel like they can share anything back.] Just another thing we have to remind ourselves and everyone else to keep going every day.
Maybe sometimes you have to repeat it just to make sure it sticks with some people. [so yes. they have had this conversation a lot, aerith has had this conversation a lot with other people, and she foresees it as a conversation she's going to continue having.]
I don't want anyone falling behind because they feel like there isn't another option but to give up. Especially since it feels like this may get harder the longer we're here.
[that's fair. pretty flowers are fine, she cares not as long as there's effort. but she looks at him for a moment when he says that.]
You think? [this is genuinely kind of like "i'm not sure i'm doing anything special" rather than "yeah obviously because we're a group of sad people."] Maybe that kind of thing is just important to me.
[she does in fact know how much of the world doesn't care about others, and the closed-lipped smile from her seems to say so.]
...I think it's the best I can do right now. I'm not as good at fighting or anything like that like some of the others here. We all have to play to our strengths, right?
You never know. Some people don't think much about it at first. [some people accidentally step on flowers and that makes her annoyed.] But I'm sure they appreciate that.
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...
Very concise breakdown, Ms. Gainsborough. But I think I more or less agree. He's a little blunt, but we need someone who won't talk around the harder things sometimes.
I mean... I could be that person, but I'm no good at it.
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Right! [she says, somehow not caring she really just exposed him like this because daan has a point. they need someone who'll be blunt when they need it...even if that someone is a slightly too blunt eighteen year old. but there's a moment's pause and she tilts her head, adding another bit of fruit to the plate.]
...Daan, what would you say that you think you're good at? [spoilers, gojo said almost this exact thing to her and she asked him the same question. why are you both this way.]
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...
I think I can make a pretty mean drink.
Why?
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His answer was combat. [and she shakes her head.] I think you're probably better at more than just that even if you don't feel like you are.
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[ Like... he wouldn't say he CAN'T fight at all, but he is not delusional enough to be like oh yeah! I'm heckin' great at that. I say, while he is one of the more annoying/dangerous characters to fight and somehow has the highest accuracy skill in the game in a way. ]
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So. You might not feel like you're not good at not talking around the hard things, but I do think you're probably better about some pieces of it than you think.
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Oh, don't understand me, Ms. Gainsborough... if I had to, I will. I'm under no actual obligation to help anybody like a real doctor should, let alone be nice about it. Never actually took that Oath...
Still... dealing with people is hard? I guess that's what it is, in the end.
For good things or bad things... never really been good with people.
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...would you believe me if I said I'm still learning how to really talk to people? [that aside:] Nobody's going to force you to be better than you feel you can be, but I think you've done pretty okay with me so far.
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I'd be surprised if you did. You sound like someone you'd have a natural morning pleasant conversation with while I get a daily flower and a coffee.
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for the rest, she smiles a little before looking at the plate. that should be enough for now, she thinks, so she gestures for him to follow so they can pick some flowers.]
It's true. [she's aware how she comes off. she's fully aware she comes off as bubbly and friendly and overly chatty by nature because...well, she is. but that doesn't mean much when you don't get a lot of chances to engage with the outside world, and when you know you're extremely different from everyone around you and it leaves you alone so often. she doesn't continue immediately as they walk, as if she's formulating how to say this.] ...I didn't really have the same experiences as other people when I was little. I didn't get to make friends or talk to many other people until I was older. There were people I knew around the sector, but nobody I really could consider someone I was close to. So maybe I'm trying to make up for all of that now. But even now...sometimes I say the wrong thing, or I ask questions that're selfish ones because I didn't think of how it'd make someone else feel. I don't always think about how the things I want could be something that could hurt somebody else.
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...
Not sure if it'd make you feel better about it, but I was kind of the same. The social part, I mean.
[ Not so much the conversation part, but again, he's more of the silent type anyway. ]
But you know... it's only human to make mistakes. Especially when it comes to conversation.
That stuff's harder than anyone wants to admit.
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but she tilts her head a bit to the first part, because she's kind of like "yes this makes sense" while also going "okay this man did somehow get married though" but she does have enough sense not to point that part out. it's a little more to fill in the puzzle of who daan is.]
Maybe I just don't want to make mistakes with people who matter. [a little bit of honesty, because aerith tends to put more pressure on herself than anything. her idea of being selfish really is like visiting the parents of a boy she used to love and introducing herself and learning more about his upbringing when nobody's heard from said-boy for five years. she'd thought of herself as selfish for wanting to satisfy that curiosity, for not thinking about how it would make his parents feel. and here, she sometimes wonders if she's going to push some of these people too far by being as curious as she is and being as stubborn as she can be sometimes. these are all fun things for later. all in all, she doesn't disagree.]
But it is hard sometimes. I can't say it isn't. I don't want to be the person who sends a person backwards just because of something I've said. But I don't want to stop trying to reach people either.
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...
Birds don't learn to fly until they take that risk. Kids don't learn to play until they know how much a knee scrape hurts. Practice makes perfect, and pain makes living... something like that.
Wounds can't heal if you don't have them in the first place.
[ Daan isn't one of those hardass people who think suffering is a necessary facet of living -- in fact, he'd like a lot less of it in the world, too. But he knows it's what people say, that living your life afraid of every broken bone isn't actually a way to live. ]
You'll never know if you don't try, right?
Sometimes all you can do is try.
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so yeah. nothing about what he says is wrong.]
That, I think, is something you and I can both agree on. [admittedly she feels a little silly for elaborating the way she did, but she's also aware that sometimes you have to share some things for people to feel like they can share anything back.] Just another thing we have to remind ourselves and everyone else to keep going every day.
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It might even be repetitive.
[ How many times have they had this conversation alone, let alone Aerith with other people? ]
But it's better than the alternative.
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I don't want anyone falling behind because they feel like there isn't another option but to give up. Especially since it feels like this may get harder the longer we're here.
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You're a much needed presence, Ms. Gainsborough.
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You think? [this is genuinely kind of like "i'm not sure i'm doing anything special" rather than "yeah obviously because we're a group of sad people."] Maybe that kind of thing is just important to me.
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Sometimes even if it feels like much, it's nice to have someone who tries.
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...I think it's the best I can do right now. I'm not as good at fighting or anything like that like some of the others here. We all have to play to our strengths, right?
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I can do all the physical healing in the world, but I'm not good with the bedside manners.
[ Emotional healer, Aerith. ]
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Well, you're being delicate right now which is a start. [she means with the flowers, but also in at least having this conversation.]
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[ He's not that much of a jackass. ]
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[ Looking at their memorial plates. ]
Looks good.
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