Digitalis Old English folklore said that foxes wore the flowers on their paws to silence movement and stealthily stalk prey. Healing, pain, insincerity, insecurity
Nice to get things off your chest every now and then. And it's hardly as if I'm going to talk, or think differently of most people unless you've told me something seriously groundbreaking.
[for whatever reason, there's a ping of anxiety in her emotions when he says the last part. but she's quiet, pushing that away. that's not important right now. it's fine.]
I have now had sharp objects impaled nearly all the way through my torso three times since coming to this place. [is what she starts with.] Would've died all three times if whatever happened in the bar didn't put us to sleep and close our wounds instead. I think...it's been better here. People are more settled here, but at the same time sometimes it feels hard to vent to people who aren't, like, Famine because everyone has their own stuff going on. I don't like the idea of expressing things and then giving people a reason to hold back on telling me things themselves.
It does feel a bit easier to talk over here, in comparison to where we were. The pressure is less overwhelming when you know one of us won't suddenly disappear on a Thursday or Sunday or even outside of that, and the last thing you said to them was something you won't know if you can ever take back.
...
I probably won't change stances on what I will or won't say though? I'm just not so forthcoming to begin with, that's all.
Nope! Pretty unpleasant and surprising all the same, really.
[she says, as someone who has been impaled four times actually.]
That's also true. There were things I said to people before I left that I worry hurt them in the longrun, and sometimes I wish I'd had more time to write a second letter to leave behind. But wishing for that kind of stuff doesn't always help, huh?
It just...feels constant. Like this place will find ways to try and break your trust for the people you care about the most, or trick you in ways that make you question everything you say and do. For instance, I'm still not entirely sure it's just you and me in this room, so I'm not sure how much to try and make sense.
[sure. let's just casually say we're hallucinating, aerith. that's fine.]
Probably. He's been gone for a few years so, logically, showing up now makes no sense. But you know how these things are. Even the dead can come back and still walk around as if they never left at all.
[she frowns a little deeper though.]
...tea for both of us? I found out they make electric kettles, so there's one in the cabinet. I think falling asleep is a bad idea because I don't want to wake up in the lab again. Again, I know that's unlikely now that we're here but...how can we really know?
That sounds great. Everything should be over there. [pointing to a cabinet across the room that does in fact have an electric kettle and some scaresco tea. she's still focusing on this puzzle cube.]
...if I'm being completely honest, I don't think I've been at peace since we've come here. [well, no, that's not right.] Or more like...there were still things that couldn't be at peace by being here at all.
I'd have to commend anyone who's managed to find peace here. It's probably the most incredible feat yet.
[ Pouring them both tea. Wow, electric kettles so convenient. I don't want to think about whether it exists in his anachronistic 1942, just makes it exist. ]
[me any time zia and i have to figure out what technology or wildlife the 7s actually know because it's such a mix bag. kind of like how aerith has never seen a sheep in her life. tea is nice. she's even sitting up a little higher, tilting sideways to prop herself against the headboard.]
Don't get me wrong. I think you can find peace in a lot of things. And I think you can lay a lot of things to rest with time. But I also think this place is good at digging at specific problems without giving people time to solve them. You keep trying, because it's important not to give up, but it starts feeling a little targeted after a while.
Personally, I think it's felt pretty targeted since the very beginning.
[ But not everyone comes from a Silent Hill / Bloodborne-inspired canon that has basically the literal exact same premise of the entire mg so understandable... he is the freak.
He comes back with a perfectly brewed tea though, two of them. Depression be damned this boy knows how to make a drink. ]
I do think you have just a few specific circumstances, Daan. [honestly this is such a valuable skill and she takes the tea with a nod of gratitude and a little "thank you." puzzle cube goes in her lap for a second, about 1/3 of the way complete.]
The longer we've been here the more overlap we're finding with each other whether that's from people we're fighting or places we've been or experiences we've gone through. It's just unfortunate some of you were more targeted than others.
Everything here feels like a lesson in learning how to adapt, because if you don't it's going to be much harder. But I still think...other people can make their lives better. Even with these circumstances.
I know. [and she does, to an extent.] Even if it isn't right, it can be too easy to fall into a pattern of acceptance. And it takes a lot to turn it around.
But I do think some things can still change, even if it's impossible.
I do, just like you know what kind of argument I'd give you. [there's a little grin.] Maybe all I can really do is believe it enough for other people, even if it might not change things for me.
Something like that. [sips her tea.] All the more reason I'll keep having that faith for the people who can't find it themselves yet. Even if it's hard right now.
...As long as you're not stretching yourself thin to care for others. Need to fix yourself up first before you can help others. Usual principle rule of places like the war field.
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Nice to get things off your chest every now and then. And it's hardly as if I'm going to talk, or think differently of most people unless you've told me something seriously groundbreaking.
[ And even then he doubts he can judge still. ]
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I have now had sharp objects impaled nearly all the way through my torso three times since coming to this place. [is what she starts with.] Would've died all three times if whatever happened in the bar didn't put us to sleep and close our wounds instead. I think...it's been better here. People are more settled here, but at the same time sometimes it feels hard to vent to people who aren't, like, Famine because everyone has their own stuff going on. I don't like the idea of expressing things and then giving people a reason to hold back on telling me things themselves.
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[ Getting stabbed through the torso... ouchies. ]
It does feel a bit easier to talk over here, in comparison to where we were. The pressure is less overwhelming when you know one of us won't suddenly disappear on a Thursday or Sunday or even outside of that, and the last thing you said to them was something you won't know if you can ever take back.
...
I probably won't change stances on what I will or won't say though? I'm just not so forthcoming to begin with, that's all.
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[she says, as someone who has been impaled four times actually.]
That's also true. There were things I said to people before I left that I worry hurt them in the longrun, and sometimes I wish I'd had more time to write a second letter to leave behind. But wishing for that kind of stuff doesn't always help, huh?
It just...feels constant. Like this place will find ways to try and break your trust for the people you care about the most, or trick you in ways that make you question everything you say and do. For instance, I'm still not entirely sure it's just you and me in this room, so I'm not sure how much to try and make sense.
[sure. let's just casually say we're hallucinating, aerith. that's fine.]
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As in the whole thing about the hills having eyes and ears?
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[no, she's just going to squint instead, eyes slowly following some invisible figure out the door.]
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Seeing a good someone or bad?
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Both, maybe. Good in this world, a little less good back there. Funny, right? [not the word for it, but sure.]
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Nothing that can just go away when it's forced on you the way things are here, but...
Take a nap? If you can. I can get you tea to help.
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[she frowns a little deeper though.]
...tea for both of us? I found out they make electric kettles, so there's one in the cabinet. I think falling asleep is a bad idea because I don't want to wake up in the lab again. Again, I know that's unlikely now that we're here but...how can we really know?
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We can have it until you feel better and at peace, Cloud returns, or you do end up nodding off peacefully.
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...if I'm being completely honest, I don't think I've been at peace since we've come here. [well, no, that's not right.] Or more like...there were still things that couldn't be at peace by being here at all.
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I'd have to commend anyone who's managed to find peace here. It's probably the most incredible feat yet.
[ Pouring them both tea. Wow, electric kettles so convenient. I don't want to think about whether it exists in his anachronistic 1942, just makes it exist. ]
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Don't get me wrong. I think you can find peace in a lot of things. And I think you can lay a lot of things to rest with time. But I also think this place is good at digging at specific problems without giving people time to solve them. You keep trying, because it's important not to give up, but it starts feeling a little targeted after a while.
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[ But not everyone comes from a Silent Hill / Bloodborne-inspired canon that has basically the literal exact same premise of the entire mg so understandable... he is the freak.
He comes back with a perfectly brewed tea though, two of them. Depression be damned this boy knows how to make a drink. ]
Careful, still hot.
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The longer we've been here the more overlap we're finding with each other whether that's from people we're fighting or places we've been or experiences we've gone through. It's just unfortunate some of you were more targeted than others.
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[ He hasn't lived a normal life in ever. ]
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[please try to find some happiness sir. begging.]
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[ Look at him, just resigned to his shitty cult death life at this point. There is not a lack of trying... I will tell you that much... ]
Or some things were just always a certain way.
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But I do think some things can still change, even if it's impossible.
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It's a nice thing to believe in. If not for yourself, for others. No need to pull others into the same darkness.
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